i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
