We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
