Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
