I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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