Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
