The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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