Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
