I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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