Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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