Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize