I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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