I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
