That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
