babies were throwing up all over the place
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
