Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
