I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she told me i tasted like america
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
