I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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