I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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