bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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