I think im going to throw up on grandma
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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