you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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