I love watching others lives come down to our level.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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