he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
