I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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