Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
