They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize