Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
