I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
