I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
