So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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