Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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