Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
