erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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