Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
