I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
