Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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