I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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