playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
