Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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