I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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