Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
