South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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