oh fat girl friday strikes again...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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