dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My friends, they love my intelligence
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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