PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
