I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
