dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
