He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
