he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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