He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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