I seem to have left my pride at pride
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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