I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
