hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
