she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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