Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize