I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
