so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
