I must be too annoying 4 u.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
