They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
