now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
