I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
