video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
