A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
