I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
