Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
