More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
