I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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