YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Dignity is for republicans.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize