But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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