ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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