but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
