I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize