you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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