You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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