What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
