If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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