Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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