i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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