you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Randomize
