dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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